I first experienced mental health problems 2 years ago. I was working down South as a merchandiser for a high street brand. I initially stayed down South because I was with someone I thought I was in love with (boy was I wrong). I had just graduated from university and got myself a decent job in the industry I studied about, fashion. Everything was going well for a few months. Then I noticed how much time I was spending alone, my boyfriend at the time was still studying and would visit home most weekends. That's when I realised that maybe this wasn't how I wanted to live my life. I was 400 miles away from home, my family, friends and I just couldn't connect with my work colleagues. I felt completely alone. I would work 5 days a week, go home, spend the nights with someone I wasn't sure of anymore and then on the weekends, he would leave and I'd spend the entire weekend in a tiny studio apartment, alone with my thoughts.

It wasn't healthy it made me paranoid and anxious, I used to love my own company.

You're probably thinking how can one situation like that lead to this? Well I have always been insecure. There are a couple of experiences that have impacted my life, bullying being one of them.

Throughout my middle school years I was bullied because of how I looked, I have shall we say... a prominent nose. I would get called names like Concorde, alien, E.T and more. It has stuck with me, even now at 25.

Another is the classic absent father. However I feel like my family and I had a lucky escape. He wasn't a good man. Not having a father around did have an impact on me as I got older and got involved with men. I had serious trust issues but craved finding true love. I have had four relationships and each of them all lasted at least one year. I had a tendency of holding on to something even when it wasn't working. It was as if I refused to give up, hoped they would change and stayed with them just to feel the love of a man (silly I know).

Eventually I saw sense and I am now in a very loving relationship with a man I can honestly say, will spend the rest of my life with ❤

I have read a few blogs on mental health however some of them have never opened up about how their mental health problems started. I think it's important to recognise how you've got to where you are, so you know how to overcome it.

Talking about your feelings is so important, I know first hand that sometimes talking to your nearest and dearest can affect them too. That's why I have been reading books, watching videos, reading blogs and now writing a blog. It helps to empty your mind, writing your feelings down takes that elephant off your chest. I'm a firm believer in self help, if you're suffering from any type of mental illness I advise you to start writing and reading. It makes you feel less alone, helps you to see the light at the end of the tunnel and keeps you focused on getting yourself better!

Here are a few mental health sites/blogs I find useful:

When did you recognise the start of your mental health? What sparked it off? How or have you overcome it? Let me know ☺