For the past year or so I have been reflecting a lot about how I imagined my life to be at this age.

The Hope:

I envisioned I'd be in my dream job that the 3 years of university helped me achieve, have a big group of friends, be married, with a child or two and own my own home with my partner.

The Truth:

I am currently in between jobs, my university degree has done bugger all for me, I have a small group of close friends, I'm living with my long term boyfriend in a rented 2 bedroom flat and my finances are shocking.

However I have been brought up to always see the glass as half full as opposed to half empty. Yes I may not be employed right now but I do have job interviews coming up and to be honest, in these last couple of months of me being unemployed I feel I have really needed this time to sort my mental health out and re think my career options. I think back to how my last job made me feel, I worked full time in retail and it was honestly soul destroying. You are dispensable in that sector. I have always strived for a job where I am valued and indispensable. A job where you look forward to going in every day. My mam has always said to me if you get a job you enjoy you'll never have to work a day in your life. (More wise words from Mumma B).

Anyways right now, that is what I am trying to achieve. I now know that yes I have a big interest in fashion but is working in the fashion industry for me? Nah, I don't think so anymore. It is such a cut throat industry and I am a very sensitive and caring person that I just don't see myself fitting into that environment anymore.

So what have I done about it? Well after reading through my CV a few times, doing online skill tests, talking with national careers advisors and attending job interviews in industries that I am not used to I have learned more about myself, what I am capable of and more importantly what I want. I have attended job interviews with banks, care homes, travel shops and tomorrow I have a interview to work in a office based travel agents with the UKs leading holiday park resorts. So yep, I am pretty excited and dare I say hopeful!

As for my university degree, well I think it is safe to say that it was a waste of time, so much so that I am not even going to delve into that aspect of my life right now. I guess I am still bitter about it, but maybe I only have myself to blame. In my last year I didn't push myself nearly half as hard as I did in my first two years. When I'm ready to, I'll talk about it 😔.

Friends, well they come and they go don't they? I have a lot of acquaintances that if effort was made on both sides, I'd be able to say I had a big group of friends. But life gets in the way, we grow up and sometimes grow out of each other. Personally I much prefer having a small group of good friends as opposed to having a big group of fake friends. Quality over quantity.

One of the best things in my life at the moment is my relationship with my boyfriend, S. Despite my mental health and financial problems we always overcome obstacles that life puts in the way. I guess that is what you call a real relationship. I've got his back and he's got mine. He loves and supports me in every way possible and I can now say for the first time in my life, I feel safe and secure knowing he is by my side. (n'awww.) ❤

The financial side of my life has created a lot of anxiety for me over the past few years and it's only been recently that I have managed to take control of it. Well I say that but, it was actually with the help of my grandparents (amazing of them). My financial problems all started while I was studying, so seeing as I now see my degree as waste you can imagine how I feel about it 😒.

The point in this post? Well in all honesty I didn't plan on writing or even sharing this post, but the thoughts and words came to me and just kept typing. I guess it's a little insight to my life and it's helped me see what I DO have and what I should be thankful for. So I hope you've read this and been able to relate in some way and remember, the glass is always half full.